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Change initiatives in enterprising families rarely fail because of bad ideas or lack of commitment. More often, they stall because leaders misjudge how quickly the family system can absorb change. In this article, Nick Di Loreto and Jamie Shah explore why aligning on what to do is fundamentally different from getting it done—and why pace is one of the most overlooked yet consequential variables in family enterprise decision-making. Through real-world examples and practical frameworks, they offer advisors and family leaders a way to intentionally calibrate the pace of change to build durable consensus, preserve relationships, and sustain long-term momentum.
The phrase “go slow to go fast” has become a core family business maxim. The idea underscores that meaningful progress often requires patience: taking the time to build trust, process emotions, and create alignment before acting. But in practice, the real question isn’t whether to move faster or slower. It’s how to set the right pace of change to ensure you make—and keep—meaningful progress.
Advisor Insight
Alignment Is Not Commitment
Alignment around a decision does not guarantee follow-through. When pace is miscalibrated, families may verbally agree while privately disengaging. Advisors can help families distinguish between surface agreement and durable commitment by testing emotional readiness, capacity, and trust before advancing to implementation.
Introduction
Teagan Rousseau* left her family’s annual meeting feeling deflated. What began as an enthusiastic push toward long-needed updates had slowly unraveled into frustration, silence, and strained interactions. As she replayed the conversations in her mind, she couldn’t shake the question: Had she asked her family to move faster than they were ready to go? For the last two days, she had presided over a chorus of complaints and disappointments during her fourth-generation family’s annual owner council meeting. After spending countless hours during the last nine months working with her 42 cousins to design a new shareholder agreement, develop a new dividend policy, and launch a family office for her family’s construction business, the work had officially stalled.
Across the country, Isla Brusie* sat at her desk, staring at a list of emails that were going unanswered. She and her brother had recently partnered with their two cousins to add independent fiduciaries to the board of their third-generation candy manufacturing business. The group had committed to building adequate consensus, but progress was slowing. Frustrated by the unhurried pace of change, her cousins had become less responsive, and when they wrote back, their communications almost always included the phrase “nothing’s ever going to change.”
Versions of both experiences are common in enterprising families, but because the pace at which family business owners take on change is rarely discussed, the root causes are seldom addressed. Most stalled efforts are not the result of poor intent or flawed ideas, but of a mismatch between the pace undertaken and the pace the family system can absorb. Both scenarios—too fast or too slow—can generate tension, frustration, and disengagement.
Common Pitfall
When Pace Undermines Progress
Family change efforts often stall not because the idea is wrong, but because:
- Too much is introduced at once
- Decision forums are out of sync
- Emotional processing time is underestimated
- Capacity is exceeded
When progress slows, examine pace before questioning intent or competence.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. Getting pace right can be a powerful tool for increasing decision-making effectiveness—and for building healthy relationships among owners.
Determining the Right Pace
Advisor Tool
Diagnosing Pace Readiness
Before launching a major initiative, ask:
- Do stakeholders have sufficient trust to engage openly?
- Is there enough infrastructure (people, processes, cadence)?
- Are decision-making forums aligned in timing?
- Is the system emotionally ready to absorb this change now?
If the answer to any is “no,” slow the pace—or sequence the work.
As was true for Teagan, a group leading change too quickly can inundate stakeholders with information, questions, and decisions. When stakeholders don’t have enough time to process the question at hand—both rationally and emotionally—they often feel paralyzed or take shortcuts that limit thoughtful consideration. In fact, the refrain “I don’t have enough time to decide, so I don’t decide” is supported by research in the Journal of Neurophysiology. When change proceeds too fast, stakeholders experience cognitive overload and decision paralysis, defaulting to inaction rather than risking poor judgment. Even when stakeholders agree to proceed at an accelerated pace, moving too quickly often leaves a fragile equilibrium, leading apparent agreement to break down later due to lack of buy-in or accountability.
At the other end of the spectrum, as was true for Isla, a group moving too slowly can be pushed toward obsolescence as urgency fades and the issue quietly slips off the priority list. A slower pace of change can also frustrate those who want to move more quickly, leading them to disengage or become antagonistic—both to the detriment of the group as a whole.
In either situation, perhaps the most damaging outcome is that a poor change experience not only undermines the current initiative but also makes future change efforts more difficult to launch.
If pace can have such debilitating consequences, why aren’t family business owners more aware of the challenge? In our experience, there are four primary reasons pace is overlooked:
- Ignoring growing relationship complexity
As families grow across generations, relationships multiply and authority blurs. Decisions that were simple in earlier generations require far more time and alignment. For example, choosing a location to hold a family reunion in a first-generation nuclear family is fairly straightforward. It becomes more complex in subsequent generations with members living across the globe who have different schedules, commitments, interests and hierarchies. Approaching these decisions as if the earlier, simpler relationship structure still exists leads to challenges and frustration. - Relying on overloaded structures
Family growth often outpaces infrastructure. Without adequate people, processes, and systems, even well-intentioned change becomes difficult to sustain. Because change in families is evolutionary and slow, families often fail to appreciate how much additional work, coordination, and structure their growth now requires. - Not appreciating asynchronous systems
Boards, owner groups, and family councils operate at different cadences. When these rhythms are not coordinated, decision-making becomes fragmented and frustrating. For example, a Family Council may meet monthly, a Board meets quarterly, and an owner group meets annually. These asynchronous structures are not working at the same pace. Appreciating, planning for, and coordinating these asynchronous systems, coupled with thoughtful diplomacy among the multiple constituents, is essential. - Misunderstanding the human side
What appears to be a straightforward decision may trigger emotional responses rooted in identity, history, and legacy. Sustainable change requires time for emotional processing. Family businesses are systems made up of individuals with different interests and complicated histories. The stories and legacies of previous generations often unconsciously and deeply influence the perspectives of current family members. To be able to make lasting decisions, family members need time to reflect, process, and be emotionally ready for change.
How to Get Pace Right
Advisor Takeaway
Stretch—But Don’t Break the Rubber Band
Effective leaders create enough urgency to sustain momentum without exceeding the system’s capacity. When consensus feels fragile, it probably is.
Understanding why pace is overlooked helps clarify the challenges affecting change. So how do effective leaders calibrate the pace?
Our experience working with more than 280 owner groups suggests five principles:
- Change in family business is more art than science. Pace depends on factors such as trust, capacity, emotional readiness, complexity and clarity. Leaders must identify these conditions before setting a tempo that the system can absorb.
- Businesses move in days and weeks; families move in years and decades.
- Families move at the speed of trust, not information. Because decisions trigger emotional histories and identities, families move at the speed of trust, not information. Leaders who make room for emotional processing can create far more durable outcomes.
- Overloaded systems don’t function well. Most family and owner groups can only absorb one or two major change initiatives at a time. The Rousseaus in our first example would likely have been much more successful had they tackled their shareholder agreement, divided policy, and family office in succession, rather than in parallel. Doing so would have allowed their cousin group to understand, debate, explore, challenge, and build comfort at each juncture, building momentum.
- Stretch, but don’t break, the rubber band. While there is often excitement propelling change, effective leaders create enough stretch to move forward but not so much that consensus fractures. Push for progress, but not faster than the system can bear. In the case of the Brusie’s above, one might argue that Isla didn’t stretch the rubber band enough, and that slack in the system caused a few members to drop out. Alternatively, we hear from clients (and have experienced ourselves), advisors’ desires to stretch the rubber band too far. If you end up in that place, beware of fragile, unsustainable consensus and consider whether it makes more sense to “go slow to go fast.”
Resetting Pace When Things Go Off Track
When symptoms of misaligned pace appear—whether too slow or too fast—step back and “go to the balcony.” Rather than blaming individuals, examine systemic factors: relationship complexity, infrastructure, forum alignment, and trust. Use these observations to start a conversation that supports a more durable path forward.
Navigating change in any business is difficult. Change in a family business is even more complex. If you find yourself stuck, consider whether you are managing the pace—or the pace is managing you.
*All identifying details have been changed.
Key Takeaways for Advisors
- Alignment isn’t commitment. Agreement without readiness rarely leads to action.
- Pace reflects the system, not the people. Stalled change signals structural issues, not resistance.
- Families move at the speed of trust. Emotional processing enables decisions.
- Sequence change to build momentum. Fewer initiatives lead to stronger outcomes.
- Stretch without breaking consensus. Fragile agreement today undermines progress tomorrow.
About the Contributors
Nick Di Loreto is a partner at BanyanGlobal Family Business Advisors. He advises owners of private family businesses and family offices on the structural and relational challenges of generational transition.
Jamie Shah is president of her family’s business, Chem-Impex, and an adjunct assistant professor at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business, where she teaches Outperform & Outlast: Operating and Investing in Family Businesses.
View this edition in our enhanced digital edition format with supporting visual insight and information.
